Quinn is four months old

Dear Quinn,

Another month has flown by (and then some)! I love watching you grow and interact with the world around you. Everything is so new and interesting! Of course this makes nap time nearly impossible as you don't want to miss a thing.

You are still eating every 3 hours just like clock work and still 4.5oz bottles. You seem to be getting a bit more efficient though because you finish eating in 25-30 minutes instead of 40+ but there are still those times where you would eat for over an hour if I let you.

At your 4 month check up you weighed 13.5 lbs (10-25th percentile), were 23.75" long (5th percentile), and your head circumference was 16.5" (25-50th percentile). Maybe you won't be as tall as we originally thought, but you are still a little bean pole ha!

At the beginning of the month you could wear 3-6 month footies, but by the end of the month you were completely into the 6 month ones. For clothing that doesn't snap, like tshirts and pants, you can still fit into 3 month sizes.

You sleep through the night like a champ from 9:30-10 until at least 6 in the morning. On the weekends you have slept till 8 occasionally which shocked mommy. I had to go into your nursery to check on you just to be sure! I'd like to push your bedtime back to 8 but I can tell it's going to be a tough battle.

Toys, toys, toys! You love your toys, but only for a little while. That attention span of yours is very short so daddy and I are constantly switching you from your play mat, to the bouncer, to the exersaucer, to the bumbo!

You have decided that you really like sitting up. We still have to hold you because you'll topple over but you definitely prefer it to laying down or even laying reclined. Again, you have to be able to see everything! You have rolled over a couple of times so I know you are capable, but I just don't think you're very interested in it yet.

You had your very first bad cold and it just broke mommy's heart. Poor baby! Your test came back negative but the doctor still thinks you had RSV. It came with a nasty chest cough that just upset you so much. Mommy and daddy had to give you breathing treatments for about 3 weeks, but it did get better and eventually go away. I don't think the yucky pollen outside helped any either.

I think teething is right around the corner for you sweet boy. The drool is out of control! You love chomping down on your cold teething rings some nights, but haven't started fussing too badly just yet.

Daddy and I are thankful every day for you! You bring us such joy with your little smiles, giggles, and raspberries. We love you so much.

Love,
Mommy

still alive

Hey y'all!

I promise I'm still alive. You have no idea how much I've wanted to blog lately. It seems that this new role of being a mommy just keeps getting in the way!

I'm desperately trying to get Quinn's 4 month post up before he turns 5 months old (only 5 days to go eep!).

If you're still checking in bless you. Maybe I'll find a balance soon where I'll be able to post a little more regularly.

a mother's love

The entire time I was pregnant I was told by many that I was about to experience a type of love I've never felt before, a love that's so strong and so deep, a mother's love. Mothers all around, including mine, said it would sweep over me as soon as I held my sweet boy in my arms and it would be amazing.

I didn't doubt any of them. I knew I would love Quinn with all my heart and I was ready to feel this mother's love that everyone spoke of. I imagined my heart literally growing inside me like the Grinch at the end of the story.

When I gave birth and the nurse put him on my belly I cried. Big sloppy tears too. The emotions pretty much just oozed out of me. I loved Quinn like I had loved him forever. It didn't feel like a new love with butterflies and giddiness. This love felt like it had been inside me since I was inside my mother's belly. It was a love I've always had that was saved especially for him.

Now I often get asked, "Did you ever know you could love someone this much?" and I feel a pang of guilt. I smile and respond with something along the lines of "it's pretty amazing" but truthfully, yes I did already know.

See I've felt this kind of love before...for my husband. It's special and wonderful and deep. Again it feels like I've loved him from the very beginning of my life. I have these little pockets of love that have always been with me that are meant just for him and my sweet baby.

The reason I feel guilty is because I don't think I have a mother's love for Quinn like everyone talks about. It certainly is unique and special but it's not a new feeling. So instead of feeling sad about it I try and look at it differently.

I'm blessed to be able to love my husband the same way I love my child.

I am only one woman

I am a huge people pleaser. I hate to have people upset with me, or worse, disappointed. I come down on myself quite hard if I don't meet (and often exceed) people's expectations. I just don't like the idea of people thinking less of me.

I have been majorly struggling with this recently. I want to get it all done. I need to get it all done. I want to make everyone happy. I want to keep the house spotless, be caught up on laundry, play with my baby, make healthy dinners, blog and scrapbook our life moments, stay current with friends, be up to day on my work items...and it goes on and on.

I have to-do lists, goal lists, grocery lists, and project lists. I budget my money and my time. I plan and organize and recite to myself what comes next. I constantly find myself saying, "if I do this then I can do that next." I rush around like a mad woman until I completely crash in the evenings.

Recently I decided that I wanted to read the bible in a year. I downloaded an app on my phone and started browsing the plans. Wouldn't you know one that caught my attention was titled the plan for a busy women: how to lead a rich and satisfying life. I'm pretty sure God was trying to tell me something.

How am I going to lead a rich and satisfying life? Definitely not the way I'm going right now. I'm rushing through life as if the day to day doesn't matter. Why should Saturday be more important than Tuesday?

I have to remind myself that I am only one woman. I can only do so much, but the one thing I should always do is enjoy everyday. I need to enjoy my husband and I need to enjoy my son.

Quinn is three months old

Dear Quinn,

Three months! You are three months old! You are growing lightening fast and beginning to show your little personality. I love when you smile and giggle. It just melts my heart. You like to snuggle into my neck and I just cherish that time because before I know it you'll be a little boy who doesn't want his mama kissing him in front of his friends.

You still eat every three hours but we have increased your bottles to 4.5oz. You must have your daddy's metabolism! You like to take your time when eating though. One feeding session takes 40 minutes!

I'm not sure just how big you are because you don't have a check up until you're four months old. I know you're getting longer because none of your 0-3 month footies fit! Memere and I had to run out and get you new clothes because you grew overnight. One day they fit and the next they didn't!

You are still sleeping through the night. You go to bed around 9:30 and I have to wake you up at 6 so we have enough time to eat before going to the nanny. Last weekend you slept till 7 and it was wonderful! After you have your morning feeding I can put you back down until about 9 or 9:30 and then you are ready to play!

Speaking of playing, you are definitely interested in toys now. You still love your play mat and I recently added the toys to your bouncy seat. I believe we are going to need to get your jumper out of the attic very soon! I've introduced you to Sophie the giraffe and you certainly like her squeaker. I have to be careful and make sure the dogs don't think she is a toy for them, ha!

Yesterday you rolled over from your tummy to your back! Unfortunately it was when you were with your nanny, Mary, so mommy and daddy missed it. I'm sure you'll do it again for us very soon! I'm so excited for you to reach these new milestones, but at the same time I feel like it's all happening too quickly!

You are still a very easy going baby. You travel well and don't mind running errands. You don't like your feeding schedule to be messed with, but you can fall asleep where ever. We do have a hard time getting you to sleep if there is too much going on around you though. Heaven forbid you miss anything exciting! 

 one month

two months

three months

Where has my little baby boy gone?! You will be a young man in the blink of an eye. Daddy and I love you!

Love,
Mommy

happy valentine's day

If you know my husband at all then you know he's not a mushy guy. It's just not his thing to be overly romantic in a cliche kind of way. He shows his affection on his own terms.

I'm not quite sure when it started but at one point while we were dating we started a joke that became "our thing." I would tell him he loved me and he would respond with "only on Tuesdays" which I would follow with "no, everyday."

It became such a constant joke that I had the inside of his wedding band engraved with "everyday is Tuesday" as my special form of I love you. Well as luck would have it, Valentine's Day happens to fall on a Tuesday this year.

The hubs had flowers delivered to me at work claiming it was all Quinn's idea. Either way it make this girl's day that much brighter.

I'm one lucky mama to have this cutie as one of my valentines.

I was also lucky enough to spend the evening with my parents since the hubs was out of town for the day of love. They brought over dinner, gave their grandbaby lots of kisses, and kept me company for the evening. 

It may not have been an over-the-top super romantic way to spend Valentine's Day, but it was my kind of perfect.

what I've learned about nursing

I know everyone's experience with breastfeeding is different, but there are some things I wish I had known from the beginning. Googling will only take you so far at 3am and it can lead to some very frightening results. Please know that I am by no means a professional. This is just what I have learned from nursing my baby.

• That delicious chicken, rice, and broccoli casserole your friend brought over for you...DO NOT eat it. Broccoli is your worst nightmare, along with onions, garlic, beans, kale, tomatoes, oranges, and any other harsh vegetable that might give you gas or is very acidic. Your little one's system isn't strong enough to push the gas through so you'll end up with a screaming baby (full-on ugly cry), which makes you cry because there's nothing you can do. 
• Speaking of gas - mylicon. Get some. If you're afraid something you ate might give the baby gas, give them the mylicon before you breastfeed. It's one of those things that won't hurt if you give it to them as a preventative measure. You can also give it once they have gas and are upset. I noticed it would take about 30-45 minutes to fully kick in, so be patient.
• You can try gripe water as well. It has more of an instant affect. We had some but only used it a couple of times until the hubs accidentally left it at a hotel. We didn't bother buying more because the mylicon seemed to be working just as well and he was getting older and able to pass the gas more on his own. This has to be kept in the fridge and it is recommended you replace it after six weeks.
• Lanolin can be your best friend, but be careful. I was told to use lanolin to avoid becoming dry and cracking, so I applied it liberally and often. Unfortunately I was a little too enthusiastic about using it that I ended up giving my baby thrush. Thrush is a yeast infection in your nipples and your baby's mouth. Like any yeast infection it comes from bacteria growing in a warm moist environment. The lanolin provided just that. The perfect balance for me is applying it once a day and never letting my breast pads become wet. 
• Speaking of thrush, the telltale sign your baby has it is a white tongue where the spots spread to the inside of their cheeks, lips, and roof of their mouth. A little white on the back of the tongue isn't always thrush though, sometimes it's just from the breast milk. The sign you have thrush is what I like to call fire nipples. They will hurt like hell and even worse when your baby latches. It brought tears to my eyes every time I went to feed him. 
• If you do end up getting thrush (we got it twice so far) the pediatrician will prescribe an oral medication for the baby and possibly a topical ointment for you. You can also take a pill, diflugan. Get the pill. Don't even waste your time or money on the ointment. After 4 days of use, I never noticed an improvement. After 1-2 days on the pill the pain began to come down. When I noticed the white spots and started feeling the fire for the second time around, all I had to do was call to get prescription refills, no appointments necessary.
• I mentioned it in this post, but I'll say it again. I'm a huge advocate of the My Brest Friend nursing pillow. It supports my baby perfectly. There's always the Bobby which some people like better. Either way, get a nursing pillow.
• When nursing your baby with the pillow, lay a burp cloth down under your breast/their mouth. I don't know how many times Quinn randomly spits up in the middle of feedings. The burp cloth catches those little spills so you don't have to constantly wash the cover.
• I highly encourage you to try nursing outside of the home. I didn't like the idea of nursing in public but I'm so glad I did it. I can now throw on the nursing cover and feed Quinn anywhere I want. It helped me become comfortable as well as him. He doesn't seem to care where he is as long as he gets fed.
• Remember, what ever you're feeling, your baby can sense it. If you're uncomfortable or stressed or upset most likely your baby will sense it and feel the same way. I had many nights in the beginning when I'd get stressed because Quinn wouldn't latch. This only made him more upset and we were both crying. The hubs had to take him and sooth him while I took some deep breaths and tried again.
• When Quinn wouldn't latch I noticed it was because he kept his tongue pressed to the roof of his mouth. He couldn't figure out to push down his tongue so he could accept the nipple and start sucking. I would stick my finger in his mouth and push down his tongue then put my nipple in his mouth. It was a little tricky, but it helped and eventually he figured it out on his own. 

I really hope if you stumble upon this because you're frantically googling in the middle of the night that it helps you in some way. Nursing is hard, but keep trying. You can do it!