blogging peer pressure

Today I am really struggling with why I blog. I know why I say I blog, to keep my family and friends in the loop on what's happening in our lives. Nearly all of my posts are short little recaps of daily happenings. I post pictures of my baby and family events or funny little stories. There's nothing extremely major or deep on here.

BUT!

But if I sit here and be completely honest with myself, am I really posting just for family and friends? The answer would be no. I like the attention. I like when I receive a comment, a like on facebook, or a mention on twitter. I'm being recognized, validated somehow.

Going back to middle school and high school years I kept a diary. I wasn't keeping it just for me even back then. I was hoping somehow someone would find it and start the conversation which would allow me to talk about myself.

The reason I passed notes with my best friend about my crush was in hopes that he would somehow intercept and exclaim, "oh I like you too!"

Are secrets really said so that they remain secret?

I've jumped on another bandwagon {so to speak} recently. Shereadstruth has been going around the blogging community. It's about reading the Bible together, discussing it together, and becoming closer to God together.

I somehow feel guilty about this. That, again, I'm only doing it so I can be recognized and that is the most awful reason to want to be closer to God. Then yesterdays verse hit me like a ton of bricks.

"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."
- Matthew 6:5-6

I need to be doing things because I really want to, no other reason. We all really should be living our lives that way. We all should be following our dreams because it makes our hearts happy.

I may seem like a hypocrite for even posting this, but it's what's on my mind right now and that's what I want to blog about.

And a picture of my baby because I always want to blog about my sweet boy.